Sasuke's pipebomb
by BurnLikeAnAnimal
Summary: Fusion-fic. Sasuke voices his frustrations with the Leaf Village before leaving.


The battle was over. Naruto laid defeated on the ground of the Valley of The End, moaning in pain.

Sasuke is slowly walking away from Naruto, but then he looks back to Naruto, looks around and sees nobody's coming.

He smirks arrogantly, turns back to Naruto, and sits on the lotus position.

He breathes deeply, thinking on everything that has annoyed him since he became a orphan, and talks loudly towards Naruto, while the sky becomes more and more dark.

"Naruto Uzumaki, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave to the Sound Village to join Orochimaru, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest."

He expires before talking again.

"I don't hate you, Naruto. I don't even dislike you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the village. I hate this idea that you can be better than me - that I will never let it happen. Because I'm the best. I'm better than you. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing the Hokage's ass. You're as good at kissing the Hokage's ass as Kakashi was. I don't know if you're as good as Shikamaru. He's a pretty good ass-kisser. Always was and still is."

He expires and then inspires the air, and then talks in a louder tone.

"I am better than you. I've been the best since Day One when I walked into that Ninja Academy. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because I'm a Uchiha and Iruka saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Uchiha prodigy. You know who else was a Uchiha prodigy? My brother, Itachi. And he split, just like I'm splittin', but the biggest difference between me and Itachi is that I'm not going to kill you to acquire the ultimate power".

Sasuke massages his eyebrows with his two hands, lowers his eyes, then crosses his arms before talking again, in a somber tone, voicing his disappointment and hate towards the deceased Hokage.

"I've grabbed so many of Sarutobi's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me. And the fact that day in and day out, for more than six years, I've proved to everybody in the village that I am the best on genjutsu, on ninjutsu and even in cheating tests. Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not getting promoted, I do ridiculous missions like capturing cats, I have to endure the hollow worshipping of girls like Sakura that don't know a shit about me, and Kakashi doesn't even praise me for qualifying to the final phase of the Chuunin Exam with this goddamn seal on my neck! And I know you won your preliminary by farting in Kiba's face, failure! I'm not a chuunin, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Shikamaru is a chuunin and I'm not, makes me sick!"

Sasuke looks to the sky, opening his mouth to show his teeth. He's angry, very angry.

"I'm leaving to the Sound Village now and hell, who knows, maybe I'll go to the Cloud Village latter. Maybe I'll will rule the Sound Village after I kill Orochimaru's sorry ass. Or, maybe you know, I will kill my brother!?" said him, opening his arms.

He then points to Naruto with his right index finger, but in his mind images of Shino, Neji, Choji and Kiba flash like a black-and-white movie.

"The reason I'm leaving is that you people will keep working for this stupid village, do stupid missions and get paid for household chores, while I will avenge my family and my clan. Because I will not do this stupid things while my brother roams free. No, no chance in hell."

He then open his palms, showing he's not so irritated about that.

"It's ok, I'm will be just another rogue ninja to be hunted. The wheel's gonna keep turning. And I understand that the village will stay safe despite Tsunade. She's a 50-years old woman, the last member of a proud clan who should have dozens of children by now, if only because it's her duty. You know why she will die alone? Because she stupidly believes that keeping a stable relationship comes before children! And I'd like to think that maybe this village will be better after she is dead, but the fact is, it's gonna get taken over by Kakashi or you or the stupid Hyuuga Clan!"

He then turns his right hand 90 degrees and closes his eyes, beginning to think about the past.

"Let me tell you a personal story about Sarutobi. You know, after my..."

The thunder of the rain roars, alerting Sasuke that time is passing. He opens his eyes and never completes his sentence.

He stand up and leaves, feeling someone will arrive, for him and Naruto. It don't matters, they can't follow him in the rain or will stop to help Naruto. He will manage to reach his destiny.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Obviously, based on CM Punk's legendary "pipebomb" promo on WWE, Monday Night Raw #944. All Rights belong to CM Punk, Vince Mcmahon and the rest of his stupid family. Obvious reference to future Naruto storylines to who can see it.**


End file.
